My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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