If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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