is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize