im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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