i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
