apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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