I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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