I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
