It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
