hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
kristin has been a bad kristin
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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