3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
