Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
