So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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