I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
