don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
