you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
