community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
