I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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