I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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