bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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