Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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