So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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