I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
