We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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