The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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