I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
