Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
