Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
