My nipple is on Facebook.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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