My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
