So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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