I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
