I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
