So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
