He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
There r osticjed everywhere
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
