Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
