i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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