living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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