Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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