last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
