They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
