I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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