it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
