life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We are all done wearing pants today
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
True college students do jello shots in the library
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
