All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
