Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
