he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
