she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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