it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
