Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
