so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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