Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
