and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I need a beard to bite.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
