Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize