hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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