none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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