just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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