Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
