There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize