dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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