it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
