bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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