i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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