I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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