doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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