I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
